“Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you'll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.”
― Pablo Neruda
It’s the quiet moments that are the most frightening, I think.
The moments between our customary sources of noise - our loved ones, our pastimes, our commitments. The moments where we cannot be distracted from our thoughts, from the way we feel, from who we really are.
Those moments are frightening because they require us to face ourselves without the comfort of context, without the gentle touch of the things that make our identity. The loving and the being loved. The tree-ring histories of our hearts.
But when we can face that truth with courage and without flinching, we can start to understand. We can understand our choices, and make better ones. Understand the languages that our souls speak. Understand what we want, and what we need, and what’s missing.
And we can understand ourselves.
All my love,
Eat a little cleaner this week. Nobody’s asking you to go vegan. Nobody’s asking you to completely change your diet. But it’s worth giving yourself a better chance at a longer life by simply trying to cut down on junk food for a few days.
Be vulnerable with someone. Tell someone the terrible secret that you know you can’t hold inside forever. Tell someone enough to let them trust you, love you a little dearer, and believe in you a little more. It’s terrifying. But the reward could be the strongest relationship in your life.
Set aside time to chase your passion this week. Whatever that passion may be. You don’t need to become an artist overnight. You don’t need to give up your career and devote yourself to a new path. But if you follow what you love, for an hour or two, it could bring back your spark.
🎙 5 Questions With…
Who are you, and what do you do - in one sentence?
My name is Lavender Baj, I’m a journalist at Pedestrian.TV and a pop culture podcast host (Feeling Noughty).
How do you practice self care and look after your mental and physical wellbeing?
I’m a firm believer in starting the day right. I work early mornings so I prioritise getting up, making my bed and making a cup of coffee to start the day with a fresh mind.
Physically, I am not great with self care but I prioritise taking my dog for a walk every day.
What is the one question you’ve always wanted someone to ask you? And what’s your answer?
Oooh, that’s a tough one! But my go-to question I ask everyone I interview is “what’s the best piece of life advice you’ve ever received?”
Mine, courtesy of my dear friend Rachel, is “nothing matters.” It sounds really simple and stupid but it’s a principle I take with me everywhere now, from dating to applying for jobs, nothing actually matters all that much so it’s not worth working yourself up/getting anxious over.
What book would you give to someone who wants to change their life and their path?
I haven’t personally read it yet but the top of my to-read list right now is The Defining Decade by Meg Jay (off the back of a recommendation on Kelsey Darragh’s podcast).
If we’re talking books I’ve actually read, I always recommend the Curious Case of Benjamin Button purely because of the following quote:
“For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
What is your Hill to Die On? (IE, the one belief or principle you have on which you’d stake everything)
I feel like I’m doubling up here but “nothing matters.”
It sounds super depressing but it has recently become my defining belief in life and - so far - nothing bad has happened.
💻 Use: Opal
“Every one of us deserves control over our lives - and our time.
With more control over how we spend our time, we can become our best selves. Whether that is a better friend, lover, parent, musician, financier, athlete, or chef, that is up to us.
When we take back control over our screens, we will have a powerful tool to fulfill our potential each and every day.”
📱 Read: Dedicate one hour each day to your craft..
“Modern life is full on, busy and exhausting — I believe you. Work is more time consuming and more exhausting than ever, with less meaning and less of a sense of purpose. By the time we make it through the day and reach a place of solace, we’re worn thin and we have so little left to give.
But if you want to pursue your craft, you have to look inwards and try to find the strength to do the work. Otherwise, you’re fooling yourself. You’re pretending to be something. You’re playing emotional and mental dress up…”
🎧 Listen: The Receipts
“#TheReceiptsPodcast is a fun, honest podcast fronted by three girls who are willing to talk about anything and everything. From relationships to situationships to everyday life experiences, you can expect unadulterated girl talk with no filter. ”