#214 / Love is when you stop hiding your scars.


“One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.” - Douglas Coupland


landscape photography of waves and clouds

With every year, our collections of scars grow, don’t they. My own scars have been building since I was a kid, six or seven years old. It’s a collection that tells its own story, like the rings of an oak tree, a story of good years and bad winters and a touch of rot where the world got into the wood.

Your scars tell a similar story my love, I know that they do. And I think we’ve become aware of our scars as blemishes on what we think ought to be a perfect, unmarked canvas. We hide them away and refuse to show each other, attempting to preserve dignity and avoid vulnerability by maintaining a pretence of an As New condition.

But love can’t be built on that obfuscation. Love is when you stop hiding your scars, and you let someone else - your family, your friends, your lover - see where you’ve been cut, and understand what it was that hurt you, and show what hurt them in return.

Because it’s that exchange of vulnerability that allows a connection to be real, unfettered and unpretentious.

I think if we were truly as courageous as we’d like to believe, we’d stop “putting a brave face on it” and start to admit that we are truly scarred, beautiful and scored by the living we’ve done, and the living that’s been done to us, and accept that we are worthy of understanding and love for each of those marks.

All my love,

Joan

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There is a time to stop, and a time to go. A time to wait, and a time to run. Just because the world has taught us that we need to be in motion 24/7, doesn’t mean the world is right. If this is your time to stop, if the light is red, hit the brakes. You’ll be better for it.


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Sit down for just a moment, at some point today, and reflect. You can do this with a cup of tea, but do it without external stimulation. No book. No phone. Just your thoughts. There is value in sitting and doing nothing. Because even doing nothing, you are breathing and living, and that is wonderful on its own.


📦

Put away some of those old things. You know exactly what I’m talking about. The odd socks, photos, notes and miscellany that represent a path you stopped walking. Box them up. Put them aside. You’re allowed to move on my darling, I swear to you. ✨


For Your Spellbook Journal

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What sounds can you hear right now, at this moment? Listen for them, and write down each one in your journal. Take a snapshot of the world you’re living in.


Daily Link

6 mistakes you need to make on your own.

If you try and pretend that you don’t make mistakes, you lose the chance to do remarkable things. You’ll spend your time doing safe things. You can celebrate your mistakes. Just don’t glorify them — look on them as chips that can be cashed in for future gains.

I think there are some mistakes that we all have to make on our own. There is no tutorial level for the raw reality of being alive. Even reading this, you’ll make every single one of these mistakes, and learn to live with them, and that’s okay too.

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