#216 / Recognise when your role has ended.
“It’s always sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.” - Henry Rollins
We don’t need to be in anyone’s life forever.
Forever is an awfully long time, and so many things can change. We can change. We can drift, like ships moored together whose anchors have dragged, until we’re far enough away from each other that the divide becomes too hard to cross. That’s natural. Human beings evolve and transform, and when the sun goes down for the first time, we are never again the same people as the day we met.
And it would be hard enough to own that, without the added pressure that we’ve taken on board, of believing that love and friendship only have value if they are permanent and fixed.
I think it’s important to recognise when we no longer have a role to play in someone else’s story, recognise that there is no great harm in that no matter how great the loss will be, and to stop making cameo appearances in it.
To recognise when our lines have all been spoken, and we’re just hanging around upstage, no longer contributing to where their story goes next. And once we’ve reached that point, to exit as gracefully as we can, and let the show go on.
You’ll know when it’s time to let go of someone you love and care for, and you’ll know it even if you don’t want to know it, and I hope you have the courage inside your heart to be able to walk away when it’s your cue.
All my love,
I’m thinking about switching Tiny Spells from a daily email to twice a week. One Monday email, and a weekend edition. I’m conscious that I’ve had a lot of feedback from folks who are finding a daily email to be almost overwhelmingly difficult to handle. I’d love your feedback and thoughts on that shift! Email: email@example.com
Start and end today with a cup of tea, and with the ritual of making it. Don’t let anything or anyone interfere. If you live with someone, give them a heads up that you need some space to do this, and make sure you take that space. The tea will bookend your day and give it room to breathe.
Stop trying to look ahead in your crystal ball, imagining great and terrible things that may come tomorrow. Tomorrow is not your problem right now and it’s not your opportunity either. Today is. This hour is. This moment is. Each of these passing seconds. Give them the attention they deserve.
What apps are you spending the most time time in? Are you happy with that breakdown? If you think about it carefully, are you comfortable with the amount of time you spend on a particular activity? It’s up to you. You get to make that call.
Make it mindfully.
For Your Spellbook Journal
Where is the one place or person you would go to for safety, if everything became too much? Why is that? Write about it in your journal.
Digital Minimalism: How to Simplify Your Online Life.
“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, a book about cleaning, simplifying and organizing your belongings, brought minimalism into the mainstream.
And so, upon hearing the word “minimalism”, many think of owning only a few pieces of clothing, a tiny house with nothing but a mattress and zero waste.
This couldn’t be further away from the truth.
Minimalism has little to do with stuff. Things are just a by-product of a mindset. Minimalism is about mindset.