“Only when you are kinder to yourself, you can be kinder to the world.”
- Haemin Sunim
We’re always taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught that what will make someone else happier is the right call, even at our own expense. I’m not convinced that’s always the case. I am a firm believer that you cannot save somebody from drowning, if you are struggling to swim.
When you don’t put yourself into a priority matrix in a mindful and meaningful way, the work you do for others and the love you share with others will suffer as your own unmet requirements and unfulfilled needs grow.
We don’t need to sacrifice ourselves. We don’t need to be martyrs. As noble as that sounds in the abstract, giving ourselves the love and the care we need in the short term in order to be able to last longer, live longer, and continue to give externally is a far better path.
All my love,
Be honest with me. You’ve done it again, haven’t you? You’ve filled up the entire weekend and not set aside a single moment for yourself to breathe. That’s okay! But you can’t keep it up. Look at your calendar, find your next weekend and clear it. Clear the decks. Say no. Give yourself the margin that you know you need.
Find a win to celebrate. It could be anything! The milestone or the anniversary of something you’re proud of. Getting a task done that’s been on the list. Sending that difficult text. Whatever it is - please celebrate it. Have a glass of champagne. Make dinner an event. Mark what you’ve done. No matter how big. No matter how small.
Send someone a note. Perhaps you have something in your heart that needs to be said. Perhaps it’s simply time to remind someone you love them. Perhaps there’s a recipe that will be made all the more lovely as a shared secret joy by the act of writing it out by hand. It’s up to you!
For Your Spellbook Journal
Write down an affirmation in your journal today. “I am kind, and I have courage, and I will one day stand on the other side of the river, proud of the crossing I have made.”