“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
- Frank Herbert
You're feeling scared and helpless. You don't know what to do with your fear, but you know that it's there, and it has a hold on you. It doesn't matter if the cause is rational or irrational; fear can be paralyzing, and often we make decisions under its influence. But how can we use our fears? What does this emotion mean for us?
Some fears are based on our knowledge, experience, and worldview. For example: if you've been in a car crash before, it's normal to fear driving again even though the chances of getting into another accident is slim; we can't help but react to our past experiences. These responses make sense because, after all, who wants pain?
The downside – however – is that this fear can impact our lives in negative ways. It might prevent us from doing what we love or make it harder to live the life we want; sometimes, fears are irrational, and they aren't based on any reason at all.
That's when we're truly out of control because anxiety can come from nowhere and take over our lives.
Some people think that fear is a negative thing, and to some extent, it is: if you let your fears rule you, they'll only prevent you from living the life you want. But at the same time, these emotions aren't entirely useless because they can protect us from danger. Some people might think it's weird to be grateful for the fear that prevents you from walking down a dark alley, but this is an example of how these emotions are helpful when they're in line with our values and goals.
The important thing is not to run away or ignore your fears; if anything, you should face them. The power of fear lies in the fact that it's a signal for us to pay attention, not something that holds us back from doing what we want.
All my love,
Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing. This is an easy way to take some time and focus all of your attention on calming yourself down. After you've taken in a deep breath, close your mouth and breathe out slowly through your nose while pinching your lips together (like you're blowing bubbles).
Think about all the worst-case scenarios that could occur by doing the thing that's making you feel anxious or scared. It can be hard to do, but it'll help put things into perspective and calm your mind by taking away some of the scary thoughts.
Meditate (or pray, if that’s your thing) to take your mind off of the scary thought. This can be anything that makes you feel calm, like deep breathing exercises, yoga poses, guided meditations, etc. Whatever it is that helps you fall back into yourself and relax should work to help you calm down.