“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” - Victor Frankl
I believe in choice. Life doesn’t happen to me. I am in the driver’s seat.
I said this to a friend today; I honestly believe that if I could sit down and have a (non alcoholic) beer with anyone, they'd change their views and recognise my humanity. And I have simply decided that I'll take no evidence to the contrary, and I'll go on believing that no matter what.
That’s the choice I have made.
Because in a world that is confusing and often frightening, I am able to choose hope. I am able to choose to believe the best about my fellow human beings. I am able to choose that I will focus on love and companionship.
That choice is anyone’s to make. You can choose to focus on your fear and your negative emotions, and to feel as though the whole world is against you. But if you do that, you’ll filter out any evidence to the contrary, with your subconscious piling up the anecdotal data it needs to back your belief system.
I have opted out of that.
Choosing to hope, choosing to look for the best, choosing to find a spark of joy - no matter what surrounds you - is up to all of us. It’s up to any of us. It’s ours to reach for.
All my love,
This is a big one. Cut up your credit card. Cancel your Afterpay account. Spend the money that you have. Going into debt for a pair of shoes is the beginning of a spiral. When I was in my 20’s, I amassed $30,000 in unsecured debt. At 32, I am debt free. Getting here was one of the hardest trials I’ve ever faced. Please, don’t make that mistake.
Tell the truth. Today, tell it unconditionally. Stop hiding from the people you love. Secrets in a relationship are rather like rust. Once they set in, even if you scrape them all away, the damage has been done.
Find some friends. Find some good people. Find some humans who love you. And share a pizza with them. There’s something about coming together to share food, family style, that centers your friendships in a particular way. It brings balance to them. It reminds you of what made you fall madly in love with each of your friends, all over again.